I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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