Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize