how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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