Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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