are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Randomize
