I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
you would pick up someone in the library
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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