Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
