I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
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