too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
