the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
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Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
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Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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