She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
