Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
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EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
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You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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