i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
