She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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