She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
