TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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