Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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