"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
i think my mom watched the whole time
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Just high enough for therapy.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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