are you still at the devil's house?
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
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