I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
