I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
