Why are handjobs necessary in class?
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
