remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Randomize
