Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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