Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Terrible idea I love it
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
