How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
