it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
