he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
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I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
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I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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