I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
soo... how was my night?
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize