somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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