Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
