Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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