Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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