he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize
