If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
why is half of my head shaved?
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