wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
