We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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