Just took my morning after pill in the library
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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