Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
