shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
