when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
