I'd wear matching sweaters with you
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
