I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
