What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
