I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
