There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
