also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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