Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
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