I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize