My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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