Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
