K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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