Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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