You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Randomize
