Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
