I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
