No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Randomize
