he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Randomize
