yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
