Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
