what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
