If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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