i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Randomize
