actually, I'm a sock model
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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