Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
