"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
